MATT SCULT, PHD
  • Home
  • Therapy
  • Consulting
  • Writing & Press
    • Writing
    • Research
    • Speaking
    • Press Coverage
    • Blog
  • Contact

Being Told “Savor Every Moment” is Stressful, Here's What You Can Do Instead

4/11/2025

 
A more realistic approach to enjoying parenthood (and life)
Picture

Quick Takeaways
  • Feeling pressured to enjoy every second of parenting can increase stress and guilt.
  • Making room for all emotions—including the tough ones—can enhance your connection with your kids.
  • Practicing “appreciation curiosity” can reduce burnout and help you stay grounded.

At some point, nearly every parent hears this well-meaning advice: “Enjoy every moment—they grow up so fast!” While it comes from a place of love and nostalgia, it can feel like emotional whiplash when you’re juggling tantrums, bedtime battles, or just trying to get through the day.

Instead of helping, this type of message can fuel parenting stress by creating unrealistic expectations—leaving you to wonder, why can't I just enjoy this?

In this post, I’ll unpack the psychological impact of what I call “appreciation pressure” and offer some practical, research-informed ways to let go of guilt and find more genuine moments of connection.

The Trap of “Appreciation Pressure”

Social media, parenting books, and even close family members often promote the idea that every moment with your child is precious and should be cherished. The problem? That sentiment is usually filtered through hindsight—and nostalgia is a powerful editor.

For those still in the trenches of raising young kids, this advice can feel completely disconnected from reality. Instead of encouraging gratitude, it can trigger guilt, frustration, or the nagging sense that you’re somehow failing.

Psychologically, this creates a kind of cognitive distortion—particularly “should” statements—that can cloud your experience. Telling yourself “I should be grateful right now” can actually make it harder to  feel that way.

Three Ways to Ease the Pressure and Reconnect

1. Reframe the “Shoulds”

Start by noticing when you’re telling yourself what you should feel. Then, try responding to those statements with more flexible, compassionate ones:
  • “It’s okay that I’m frustrated—this is a frustrating moment.”
  • “Even though I love being a parent, I don’t have to enjoy every second of it.”

These kinds of mental shifts can reduce stress and help you hold space for both the fun and difficult moments that naturally come with parenting.


2. Validate Emotions—Yours Included

As parents, we often try to teach our kids that all feelings are valid, even if not all behaviors are okay. The same applies to us.

You might not want to feel annoyed, overwhelmed, or sad—but those emotions are a normal part of life with kids. Acknowledging them (instead of pushing them away) helps you stay emotionally flexible and makes it easier to return to calm when the moment passes.

This is where mindfulness comes in. Mindful parenting doesn’t mean staying zen all the time—it means noticing your internal reactions without judgment and giving yourself space to respond, not just react.


3. Practice “Appreciation Curiosity”

Rather than trying to force gratitude, try getting curious about it. Ask yourself, “Is there anything in this moment I’m appreciating?” Some moments will offer a yes, others a no—and that’s perfectly okay.

You might even try a little mental time travel: Imagine looking back at this moment 10 years from now. What would stand out? What might you miss? This reflective practice can help you experience more meaning without pressuring yourself to feel constant joy.

Letting Go of the Pressure to Always Feel Grateful

Parenting is full of ups and downs. Trying to “savor every moment” can become a mental trap if it’s not grounded in reality. By noticing unhelpful thought patterns, validating your full emotional experience, and approaching moments with curiosity instead of pressure, you can actually create more space for real connection and appreciation.

And if you find yourself stuck in cycles of guilt, burnout, or emotional overwhelm, you’re not alone. Therapy can help you reconnect with what matters most, learn practical tools to shift perspective, and find steadier footing in the midst of parenthood’s unpredictability.

Looking for support as you navigate parenting or other life transitions? Feel free to reach out for a free consultation.

A version of this piece originally was published on Psychology Today.

How to Make Decisions When You Don’t Know What You Want

2/6/2025

 
Picture
  • Feeling stuck in indecision is common when you don’t have a clear direction.
  • Waiting for certainty often keeps you from making progress.
  • Small experiments and value-driven decisions help you move forward.

Why Decision Paralysis Happens

There’s a common belief that you should know what you want before making a decision. But what if you don’t? Many people get stuck waiting for a lightbulb moment that never comes. The fear of making the wrong choice can keep you from making any choice at all.
Some reasons decision paralysis happens:
  • Fear of regret – Worrying about making the “wrong” choice and dealing with the consequences.
  • Too many options – When there are too many paths, it’s hard to commit to one.
  • Pressure to get it right – Society, family, or even self-imposed expectations can make it feel like you need to figure things out perfectly.
  • Waiting for clarity – Thinking you need a fully formed plan before taking action.

The Myth of Deciding and Then Doing

A common misconception is that people who make big decisions have total clarity beforehand. In reality, most figured it out along the way.
Think about skills you’ve developed—your job, relationships, or even hobbies. You probably didn’t know everything at the start. Instead, you tried things, adjusted, and learned what worked. Decision-making works the same way.
The key mindset shift: Action creates clarity. Instead of waiting until you’re sure, try small steps that help you test different paths.

How to Experiment Your Way Forward

If you’re stuck between choices, try low-risk experiments instead of overthinking:
  • Considering a career change? Take an online course, do an informational interview, or shadow someone in the field.
  • Thinking about moving to a new city? Visit for a week and live like a local before committing.
  • Not sure if you want to stay in a relationship? Have honest conversations, explore therapy, and pay attention to how you feel when you’re together.
The goal isn’t to make a huge leap—it’s to gather information. You’ll start to see what excites you, what drains you, and what feels meaningful.

The Role of Values in Decision-Making

If you don’t know what you want, focus on what matters to you. Even when the path is unclear, you can align choices with your values.
Ask yourself:
  • What kind of person do I want to be?
  • What experiences do I want more (or less) of?
  • What has made me feel most alive in the past?
For example, if you value creativity but feel stuck in a rigid job, a change toward something more flexible might make sense—even if you’re not sure of the exact role yet.

You Don’t Have to Be Certain to Move Forward

The key to making decisions when you don’t know what you want is trusting that you’ll learn as you go. Instead of waiting for clarity, try small experiments, align with your values, and take action—because the path forward is often something you create, not something you find.

f you feel stuck and overwhelmed by big life choices, therapy can help you untangle what’s holding you back, clarify what matters to you, and develop a plan for moving forward. I work with adults in their 20s and 30s who feel stuck in their careers, relationships, or personal growth.

If you’re ready to take the next step, reach out here to learn more.


Feeling Stuck in Life? There Are Ways to Get Unstuck

1/9/2025

 
Picture
  • Feeling stuck in life is common, especially in your 20s and 30s.
  • Career struggles, relationship challenges, and unmet goals often contribute.
  • You can explore actionable strategies like clarifying your values, breaking down goals, and seeking support to build momentum.

Maybe your career isn’t where you thought it would be by now. Perhaps dating feels like an endless cycle of frustration. Or, life overall just isn’t what you envisioned for yourself at this stage. Maybe you feel like you've tried everything, but it just isn't working. The good news is there are therapy techniques that may be able to help.

If you find yourself thinking "I Feel Stuck in Life" here are some signs to look out for:


  • Lack of motivation: Everyday tasks feel overwhelming or pointless.
  • Frustration: You’re irritable or envious of others’ progress.
  • Overthinking: You’re caught in loops of “What if?” or “Why can’t I just…?”
  • Fear of change: Even though you’re unhappy, you’re unsure about trying something new.

Reasons You May Be Feeling Stuck

Common reasons include:
  1. Career dissatisfaction: You’re working hard, but you’re not where you want to be, feel lost, or you don’t know what’s next.

  2. Relationship challenges: Whether single or in a relationship, you feel like you're just unhappy or can't build the type of relationship you want.

  3. Unmet personal goals: It can feel like you're just not making progress or don't know where to start.

Ways to Get Unstuck

While what works is different for each person, here are some principles that generally can be helpful:

1. Clarify What Matters Most
Feeling stuck often comes from a disconnect between your actions and your values. Spend time reflecting on what truly matters to you—whether it’s creativity, connection, or stability—and look for ways to align your daily life with those values.



2. Head in the Right Direction
Big goals like “find my dream job” or “fall in love” can be too much all at once. Instead, focus on specific, actionable steps. For example, update your resume, reach out to a mentor, or schedule one new activity this month.


3. Challenge Limiting Beliefs
Feeling stuck is often tied to unhelpful thoughts like “I’m too old to start over” or “I’ll never meet the right person.” Challenge these beliefs by questioning their accuracy and reframing them into more empowering perspectives.



4. Build Momentum
Start with one area of your life where change feels possible. Success in small things can create a ripple effect, building confidence and energy to tackle larger goals.



5. Seek Support
You don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can be a space to clarify your goals, learn new skills, and build the confidence to move forward.



Taking the Next Step

Feeling stuck in your 20s or 30s is a common experience of many of my clients. By clarifying your values, breaking goals into smaller steps, and making shifts in your perspective, you can build momentum toward the life you want.

I specialize in helping men in their 20s and 30s who feel stuck in their careers or relationships and need new tools to move forward. If this resonates with you, let’s talk about how we can work together.

Schedule a Free Consultation to learn more.

How Can Therapy Help with Dating Stress?

1/4/2025

 
Picture
Many people are over it when it comes to online dating. The addictive swiping, the constant need to come up with things to say, and uncertainty about intentions often leave people feeling drained. Therapy can help you manage this uncertainty, approach dating with greater intention, and feel more confident and in control of the process.

What Is Dating Stress?

Dating stress refers to the anxiety, frustration, or emotional exhaustion that can arise from trying to find a meaningful connection in today’s digital dating world, especially with the use of dating apps. Common experiences include:
  • Fear of rejection.
  • Feeling burned out from constant app usage.
  • Overanalyzing texts or interactions.
  • Comparing yourself to others.
  • Doubting your self-worth.
If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone—and therapy can help manage some of this distress.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy offers a space to explore your dating frustrations, identify changes you can make, and develop strategies to get what you want.

1. Building Confidence in Yourself

A therapist can help:
  • Challenge negative self-talk and build self-compassion.
  • Clarify your values and identify what you truly want in a relationship.
  • Strengthen your self-esteem so that you are able to ride the ups and downs of dating

2. Better Cope with Rejection

Rejection is an inevitable part of dating, but that doesn't mean it's easy Therapy can help:
  • Reframe rejection as a normal, even necessary, part of the dating process.
  • Practice emotional regulation techniques to manage feelings of hurt or disappointment.
  • Focus on what’s in your control and let go of what isn’t.

3. Create Healthy Dating Habits

It’s easy to fall into patterns that lead to burnout, like endless swiping or overanalyzing every message. Therapy can guide you to:
  • Set boundaries around your app usage to protect your mental health.
  • Approach dating with mindfulness and intentionality.
  • Balance dating with other areas of your life to avoid over-investing in the process.

4. Address Underlying Issues

Sometimes, dating stress is linked to common mental health concerns, such as:
  • Social anxiety.
  • Depression.
  • A history of trauma.

A therapist can help treat these mental health issues, giving you a stronger foundation for building healthy connections.

Getting Help

If dating feels more draining than fulfilling, or if it’s significantly impacting your self-esteem or mental health, therapy can be a valuable resource. Therapy can help you approach dating with confidence, resilience, and a renewed sense of purpose.

If you'd like to learn more, feel free to reach out for a free consultation to see if working together might be a good fit.

Should Adults Nap? A Sleep Therapist’s Perspective

12/31/2024

 
Picture
As a psychologist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), I greatly value  the work of academics that offer practical advice coming from research findings—especially when it's related to sleep. That’s why I admire Emily Oster’s work in breaking down complex data into actionable tips for parents. However, I couldn’t help but notice a significant oversight in her recent article on whether adults should nap.

The article concludes with this suggestion: “The optimal napping setup is: drink a coffee at 2 p.m. and set your alarm for 15 minutes.” But...

While this may sound appealing, it can actually backfire for individuals who struggle with insomnia!


Why Napping and Afternoon Coffee Can Worsen Insomnia

For people with insomnia—difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early—napping during the day and consuming caffeine in the afternoon can disrupt the sleep cycle further. Both habits can:
  • Reduce your sleep drive: Naps can take the edge off the natural “sleep pressure” that builds throughout the day, making it harder to fall asleep at night.
  • Interfere with circadian rhythms: Even a brief nap can confuse your body’s internal clock, leading to fragmented or delayed nighttime sleep.
  • Prolong wakefulness: Caffeine, especially consumed later in the day, can linger in your system for hours, making it harder to unwind and fall asleep.

Evidence-Based Alternatives for Insomnia

If you’re someone who struggles with sleep issues, the best advice is to skip the naps and limit caffeine to the morning hours. Instead, consider consulting a trained clinician for an evaluation. Evidence-based treatments like CBT-I can help you:

  • Reframe unhelpful thoughts about sleep
  • Establish consistent sleep-wake schedules

  • Learn relaxation techniques that promote restfulness

The Takeaway

While napping with a side of coffee might work for some, it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. If insomnia is affecting your quality of life, know that there are effective strategies—backed by science—that can help improve your nights and feel more rested during the day.

Looking for help? Schedule a consultation to learn if CBT-I can work for you.

Finding the Right CBT-I Therapist: A Guide to Better Sleep

11/15/2024

 
Picture
If you’ve been struggling with insomnia, you’re certainly not alone. Millions of adults face sleepless nights due to difficulty falling or staying asleep. One of the most effective evidence-based treatments for insomnia is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I). But how do you find the right CBT-I therapist to meet your needs? Let’s explore what CBT-I is, why it works, and how to choose a therapist who specializes in this first-line sleep intervention.

What is CBT-I?

CBT-I is a structured, short-term therapy designed specifically to improve sleep. It targets the unhelpful thoughts, behaviors, and habits that keep people trapped in a cycle of poor sleep. Unlike medications, which provide temporary relief, CBT-I focuses on long-term solutions by addressing the root causes of insomnia.

Key Components of CBT-I Include:

  • Sleep Education: Understanding how sleep works and why certain habits may undermine it.
  • Stimulus Control: Breaking the association between your bed and wakefulness.
  • Cognitive Restructuring: Challenging negative thoughts about sleep that fuel anxiety.
  • Relaxation Techniques: Learning methods to reduce stress and calm the mind.
  • Sleep Restriction: Limiting time in bed to strengthen your sleep drive.

Research shows that CBT-I can help people fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and feel more rested during the day.

Why Work with a CBT-I Therapist?

While there are many self-help resources available, a trained CBT-I therapist provides tailored support that can accelerate your progress. These therapists have specialized expertise in treating insomnia and can adjust techniques to fit your unique sleep challenges.

CBT-I therapists also offer accountability, helping you stick with the program and troubleshoot any roadblocks along the way. If you've tried everything on your own but still feel stuck, working with a professional can make all the difference.

How to Find a CBT-I Therapist

Finding a qualified CBT-I therapist involves a few key steps:

  1. Search for Specialists: Look for therapists with specific training and certification in CBT-I. Many professionals list their qualifications on their websites, or you can use directories to search for therapists trained in CBT-I.
  2. Check Their Credentials: A licensed psychologist, social worker, or counselor who has completed additional training in CBT-I is ideal.
  3. Ask About Their Experience: During an initial consultation, ask how long they’ve been practicing CBT-I and whether they’ve worked with clients with similar sleep issues.
  4. Consider Accessibility: Many CBT-I therapists now offer telehealth sessions, making it easier to fit treatment into your schedule, no matter where you live.
  5. Evaluate Fit: Feeling comfortable with your therapist is crucial. A good CBT-I therapist will listen to your concerns, explain the treatment process clearly, and adapt their approach to your needs.

What to Expect During CBT-I

CBT-I typically involves 6-8 sessions over the course of 2-3 months, but may be shorter or longer depending on your individual needs. During this time, you’ll work with your therapist to identify and address the factors contributing to your insomnia. You’ll also receive a customized sleep plan, track your progress, and make adjustments as needed.

Some common goals during CBT-I include:
  • Establishing a consistent sleep schedule.
  • Reducing time spent awake in bed.
  • Learning techniques to calm your mind at bedtime.

With commitment and practice, most people see significant improvements in their sleep within a few weeks.

Taking the Next Step

Whether you’ve been dealing with insomnia for weeks or years, CBT-I offers the best path to better sleep. Working with a skilled CBT-I therapist can help you reclaim your nights and restore your energy during the day.

If you’re based in New York and seeking a CBT-I therapist, I specialize in evidence-based treatments for insomnia and other sleep challenges. I offer telehealth services for adults who are ready to break free from restless nights and rediscover restful sleep. Contact me today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward better sleep.

Addressing Communication Issues in Relationships

10/11/2024

 
Picture
Have you ever felt like no matter what you say, your partner just doesn't understand? Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship and while communication issues are common, they can be a frustrating experience. Fortunately, with some insight and strategies, you can improve how you communicate and reconnect with your partner. This post will go over common communication challenges in relationships and practical steps you can take to overcome them.

Common Communication Issues in Relationships

  1. Misunderstandings and Assumptions: Many communication problems arise when partners make assumptions about each other's thoughts or feelings without clarifying. Assumptions can lead to unnecessary conflict and missed opportunities to understand each other.
  2. Difficulty Expressing Feelings: It's not always easy to share emotions, especially when you're upset or feel defensive. This difficulty can create barriers to understanding and may lead to resentment or emotional distance.
  3. Avoiding Difficult Conversations: Some people shy away from discussing challenging topics out of fear of conflict or hurting their partner. For example, topics like finances, intimacy, or long-term goals can be difficult to bring up but are essential for a healthy relationship. While avoiding conflict can feel like a short-term solution, it often leads to unresolved issues that grow over time.
  4. Communication Styles: Everyone has a different style of communication, shaped by upbringing, culture, and personality. When partners have differing styles—like direct versus indirect communication—it can lead to misunderstandings and tension.

Tips for Overcoming Communication Challenges

  1. Practice Active Listening: Active listening means fully focusing on what your partner is saying without planning your response while they speak. Show empathy by acknowledging their feelings, summarizing what you've heard, and asking clarifying questions.
  2. Use "I" Statements: Instead of pointing fingers, use the classic approach: "I" statements to express your feelings. This approach helps reduce defensiveness in your partner, making it easier for them to understand your perspective.
  3. Schedule Regular Check-ins: Setting aside time for open, honest communication can help prevent issues from building up. Regular check-ins create a space where you can both share what's on your mind without distractions or time pressure.
  4. Avoid Blame and Criticism: Blaming or criticizing your partner can make them defensive and shut down communication. Focus on describing the issue rather than attacking their character—this keeps the conversation solution-oriented.

When to Seek Help

If communication issues are causing ongoing distress or feel unmanageable, working with a therapist can be a powerful way to learn new skills to reconnect. A licensed therapist can help guide you through communication exercises and create a space to address underlying issues.

Feel free to reach out to learn more


*Note that this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered clinical treatment, diagnosis or assessment. For clinical inquiries, see my therapy page for contact methods and additional details.

What to do if your therapist talks to you like they're your boss

8/12/2024

 
Picture
If you've ever felt like your therapist talks to you like they're your boss, you're not alone -- this is unfortunately a common sentiment expressed on reddit and other forums. What is behind these posts is that people often feel like they're being directed rather than supported in therapy. But the therapeutic relationship should be a collaborative partnership, not a hierarchy. This post explores how you and your therapist can work together to achieve your goals, ensuring that you feel empowered and heard throughout the process.

A Collaborative Approach to Therapy

Therapy is most effective when it's a two-way street. You bring your experiences, challenges, and goals, while your therapist provides tools, insights, and support. When these elements come together in a collaborative way, you're more likely to see meaningful progress.

However, if you feel like your therapist talks to you like they're your boss, it might be a sign that the partnership needs some adjustment. Therapy should never feel like a power struggle; instead, it should feel like a cooperative effort where both people contribute in a collaboratively way.

Collaboration in therapy ensures that your voice is central to the process. When therapists and clients work together as equals, it enhances the therapeutic alliance, which is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes in therapy. A collaborative approach also respects your autonomy and empowers you to take an active role in your healing process.

Some key benefits of a collaborative therapeutic relationship include:
  • Empowerment: You feel more in control of your therapy and your life.
  • Better Outcomes: Research shows that collaboration leads to more effective therapy.
  • Increased Engagement: You’re more likely to engage with the therapeutic process when you feel like an active participant.
  • Greater Satisfaction: A collaborative relationship often leads to higher satisfaction with therapy.

How to Foster Collaboration in Therapy

If you feel like your therapist talks to you like they're your boss, here are some strategies to foster a more collaborative relationship (if this doesn't work, there are also suggestions for finding a new therapist below):
  1. Communicate Openly: Start by expressing how you feel. Let your therapist know if you feel like the dynamic is too directive. A good therapist will appreciate your honesty and work with you to adjust the approach.
  2. Set Mutual Goals: Make sure that your therapy goals are set together. Your therapist should guide you based on their expertise, but the goals should reflect what you genuinely want to achieve.
  3. Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask why certain techniques or strategies are being recommended. Understanding the rationale behind your therapist’s suggestions can make you feel more involved and informed.
  4. Give Feedback: If something isn’t working for you, say so. Therapy should be flexible, and your therapist should be willing to adapt their approach based on your feedback.
  5. Be an Active Participant: Collaboration is a two-way street. Engage with the process, bring your thoughts and ideas to sessions, and take ownership of your progress.

What to Do If the Dynamic Doesn’t Improve

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you may continue to feel like your therapist talks to you like they're your boss. If that’s the case, it might be worth considering a different therapist who better matches your style. The right therapist for you will be someone who respects your input and collaborates with you to create a treatment plan that truly fits your needs.

Therapy is a relationship that you and your therapist navigate together. If you ever feel like your therapist talks to you like they're your boss, it’s important to address it. By fostering open communication, setting mutual goals, and being an active participant, you can build a strong therapeutic partnership that leads to meaningful change.

How to Know When to End Therapy

7/10/2024

 
Picture
  • Knowing when to end therapy is a significant and personal decision that should ideally be made collaboratively with your therapist. 
  • By recognizing your progress, feeling empowered to manage independently, and making a plan with your therapist, you can confidently decide when it’s time to end or take a break from therapy. 
  • Remember, therapy is a tool to help you become your own therapist, empowering you to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and confidence. 

The Signs You Might Be Ready to Finish Therapy

  1. Achieving Your Goals: One of the clearest indicators that it might be time to end therapy is the accomplishment of your goals. Reflect on the objectives you set at the beginning of therapy. Have you made significant progress or met these goals? These objective markers are a great way to identify when it might be time to wrap-up.
  2. Feeling Empowered: In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), the ultimate aim is for clients to become their own therapists. This means you have developed the skills and strategies needed to manage your own mental health. If you find yourself effectively applying what you've learned in therapy to navigate challenges, it might be a sign that you can manage without regular sessions.
  3. Stability and Consistency: If you’ve reached a point where your symptoms have come down to a level where they are no longer impairing your daily life, it may be time to consider ending therapy or taking a break. 

A Collaborative Decision

Ending therapy should be a collaborative decision. Ideally, your therapist will bring up the topic of ending therapy as part of regular check-ins. This ensures that both you and your therapist are aligned in understanding your progress and readiness to end therapy.
However, if this topic hasn’t been discussed, you can and should initiate the conversation. Here are some pointers for discussing this with your therapist:
  1. Express Your Feelings: Share your thoughts and feelings about your progress and readiness to end therapy. Be open about any hesitations or concerns you might have.
  2. Review Your Goals: Revisit the goals you set at the beginning of therapy. Discuss which goals you’ve achieved and which ones you might still be working on.
  3. Plan for the Future: Talk about strategies for maintaining your progress after therapy ends. This might include creating a plan for potential challenges and discussing when it might be appropriate to re-initiate therapy in the future.

Taking a Break from Therapy

In some cases, you might not be ready to end therapy completely but feel the need to take a break or go to sessions as needed. This can be another way to gradually decrease session frequency without ending completely.

On the other hand, ending therapy doesn’t mean you can never return. Life is always changing, and new challenges can arise. Re-initiating therapy either with the same or a different therapist can be an option if you feel the need for additional support in the future. The skills and strategies you’ve developed during your time in therapy will serve as a strong foundation to build upon when you return.

*Note that this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered clinical treatment, diagnosis or assessment. For clinical inquiries, see my therapy page for contact methods and additional details.

Can Xanax Make Anxiety Worse?

6/4/2024

 
Picture
When it comes to managing anxiety, many people are prescribed medications like Xanax (alprazolam) to help ease their symptoms. While Xanax can provide temporary relief, it's essential to understand its potential long-term effects. As someone deeply familiar with evidence-based protocols for stress and anxiety, I'll shed light on whether Xanax might actually make anxiety worse over time.

Understanding Xanax and Its Effects

Xanax belongs to a class of medications called benzodiazepines, which work by enhancing the effects of a neurotransmitter called gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). This action helps to calm the nervous system, providing quick relief from anxiety and panic attacks. For many, this relief can feel like a lifesaver during acute moments of distress.

However, while Xanax can be effective in the short term, its long-term use raises several concerns:
  1. Dependence and Tolerance: Over time, the body can develop a tolerance to Xanax, meaning higher doses are needed to achieve the same effect. This can lead to physical dependence, where the body requires the drug to function normally. Withdrawal symptoms, including heightened anxiety, can occur if the medication is reduced or stopped abruptly.
  2. Avoidance and Short-Circuiting Therapy: One of the core principles of exposure therapy is gradually facing and tolerating anxiety-inducing situations without resorting to avoidance behaviors. Xanax can short-circuit this process by providing immediate, albeit temporary, relief. This may reinforce avoidance and hinder the long-term benefits of exposure therapy.
  3. Potential for Rebound Anxiety: After the effects of Xanax wear off, some individuals experience rebound anxiety, which can be more intense than the initial anxiety. This phenomenon can create a vicious cycle, where increasing doses are needed to manage worsening anxiety.

How Exposure Therapy Can Help

Exposure therapy, a key component of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), aims to help individuals confront their fears in a controlled and systematic way. By gradually exposing themselves to anxiety-provoking situations and learning to tolerate the discomfort, individuals can reduce their overall anxiety levels and gain confidence in their ability to handle distress. From this perspective, the use of Xanax can interfere with the therapeutic process in several ways:

  • Disrupting Learning: Exposure therapy relies on the principle of habituation, where repeated exposure to a feared stimulus reduces the anxiety response over time. If Xanax is used to blunt the anxiety during exposures, the individual may not fully experience the discomfort necessary for habituation to occur.
  • Reinforcing Avoidance: Relying on Xanax to manage anxiety can reinforce the idea that anxiety is unbearable and must be avoided at all costs. This mindset can undermine the goals of exposure therapy, which emphasizes building resilience and tolerating discomfort.

Finding a Balanced Approach

It's important to recognize that Xanax and other benzodiazepines have their place in anxiety treatment, particularly for short-term relief during acute episodes. However, for those seeking long-term solutions, especially through evidence-based therapies, a balanced approach is crucial.Here are a few considerations:

  1. Work with a Healthcare Professional: If you're currently taking Xanax, it's essential to work closely with your prescribing doctor. They can help you develop a plan to manage your anxiety more effectively and reduce reliance on medication if desired.

  2. Gradual Reduction: If appropriate, a gradual tapering off Xanax under medical supervision can help minimize withdrawal symptoms and rebound anxiety. This process should be tailored to your individual needs and done at a pace that feels manageable.

  3. Embracing Exposure Therapy: Engage fully in exposure therapy with the guidance of a trained therapist. This approach can help you build confidence in your ability to face anxiety-provoking situations and reduce overall anxiety over time.

  4. Consider Alternative Medications: In some cases, alternative medications with a lower risk of dependence and interfering with exposure therapy, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), may be considered. These can provide longer-term anxiety relief without the same risks associated with benzodiazepines.

Conclusion

While Xanax can provide quick relief from anxiety, its potential to make anxiety worse in the long run is a significant concern. By understanding the risks and working with healthcare professionals to find a balanced approach, you can achieve more sustainable and effective anxiety management. The goal is ideally not just to reduce anxiety in the moment, but to build long-term resilience and confidence in your ability to handle life's challenges.

Feel free to reach out to see if working together to treat your anxiety through exposure therapy may be a good fit.
<<Previous

    Archives

    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    October 2023

    RSS Feed